We
don’t like being told NO, do we? So,
imagine how kids would react if they are always denied what they want. Schools
are supposed to attend the students’ needs, but not their free will. The
boundaries between what students can do and what they cannot do is somewhat
blurred when teachers do not set the limits properly. Eventually, it’s really
hard for a kid to change from the permanent yes
to a severe no. The gap is easily seen when they are promoted
to another level, and they themselves notice the difference in attitude. How
can we solve this problem, which is a tendency in some schools? How should we
say no in a “kind way”?
First
of all, it is important to set limits as teachers. Yet, we should also be
included in those rules, otherwise, the students will never trust us. Whatever
limit is set, it is there to be obeyed by everyone.
When
asking for silence, for instance, it is not recommended to hush students, since
it sounds rather offensive. Use instead something visual: a nice piece of
cardboard and a message on it will do. “Silence Please” or “No talking” are the
most effective ones. You just have to put the cardboard up with a stick and everytime
you do so, students will react very fast. Every now and then, allow students to
gain control of that cardboard, so that we apply the notion of equality
mentioned above. Give it to them when they are delivering an oral lesson. They
will feel respected.
Another
elegant way to say no to kids is by negotiating products and results. Suppose
they have just come from the break and ask to go to the toilet. Now, have you
teachers noticed that they need to move around? They may not necessarily have
an urge to go to the toilet, so instead of saying yes and allowing a student to
wander about the hall, ask him to erase the board, or ask who has finished the
task or even become your helper for some minutes, so that he is carried away
with other activities. Then, you will tell whether that student really needs to
go out.
Finally,
we have the reward. It may sound rather behaviouristic, but we got to admit
that it has its pros. Chocolates, candies or even seals after completing the
activities can really cheer our students up. After a long and hard day, it is always nice to say "yes" to the kids somehow or another.